Believe it or not, you’re already a CEO. You’re the CEO of your own amazing life. And I bet you want it to be successful, right? I mean, don’t we all?!

I hear all the time from people who say they want all kinds of things in life yet their actions show something so different. I’m even guilty of this in certain aspects of my own life.

But if you wanted something so much… for so long… what’s holding you back? If you want to travel to a new country or start a business, why haven’t you? It’s funny that no matter how much we may want something and know it could be great for us, there’s a little subconscious fear looming in the back of our minds. And as “little” as this thing could be, it starts to present itself in the form of self-doubt and starts to convince us that there is something off if we’re not 100% committed. Maybe it’s the classic fear of failure or even the fear of success lurking within you. Are you unintentionally holding yourself back?

So if we wanted to dive further into this, into the subconscious mind… they say to take note of the things you think about right before you fall asleep and immediately when you wake up in the morning. Or where your mind drifts during the day. These are the things looming in your subconscious.

So in most of our cases, let’s say you want to start a business but you’re not sure it’s the right time or maybe you think you lack the experience. Is this really true or are you just afraid?

What Resistance Are You Feeling?

Start with trying to understand the resistance. Listen to what your inner voice or thoughts are telling you. Stay humble. Even if you feel you have the most confidence, be vulnerable to what you’re feeling. Assume you know nothing and you’re learning about these feelings of yours for the first time.

When we conceiving the idea of what would become Wildernest, I knew I wanted to do this and was so passionate about the idea of creating a company to support female entrepreneurs and build a community of Wild Women. BUT… I had a full-time job and so much going on in my personal life so how could I make time for my corporate job, my partner and build this? The resistance I was feeling was fear. That I would over commit – as I’ve done many times before and would let everyone down, including myself.

What are the Facts?

This is the part where we have to think about what is true about your fear and what is just the story you’re telling yourself. I’m a firm believer in the idea that whether you think you can or think you cannot – you’re right. So listen intently to your fears. Try to understand before you judge. What are they? As yourself “why” five times and try to get to the root of it. When you figure out what’s really looming in your subconscious, embrace it. It’s part of you. Then try to find positive examples. For instance, maybe you want to start this business but you also want to start a family and you’re convinced now is not the right time for both – find examples where it has worked. Our minds are powerful and we can convince ourselves of anything. We can convince ourselves we’ll fail if we try or better yet, convince ourselves that maybe we can succeed. One of my favorite superheroes, Ruth Bader Ginsberg was a young mother, in law school and serving as a proxy in her husband’s law classes and pulled it off. Sure it took grit. But it was possible. She did the things she had to do for the things that were important to her. And you can too. After you have examples, maybe next consult others in your inner circle. Argue both sides to the person and hear them out. Reinforce the idea that success can work. Which is why telling our stories help. Not just for ourselves but can also help serve as a positive example for others.

For me, I had to provoke hard conversations with my business partner and be brutally honest about the amount of time I could commit to. It was important for me to set expectations. And to my partner, I had to ask for space when I needed it to get things done for both of my jobs. And thankfully he was always supportive of my endeavors, as I was to his so these conversations were easier than in my head. And I had to commit to myself to not let it break me in the process of building something new. It’s true what they say that you only regret the things you didn’t do when you had the chance. And I have no intention of living with regret. So for me, once I committed to it even if I wasn’t 100% sure how I was going to make it all work. I probably wasn’t even 60% sure. All I knew was that I was in 100% committed to figuring it out.

What Promise Can You Make to Yourself?

Once you know your resistance and fears and what’s true and what you can or not control. Then make a promise to yourself. Set intention to work it out or work through these resistances and fears and not against it. Do you really have to sacrifice anything? Setting the right boundaries can help.

For me, I don’t work weekends. I love having the time to do the things I want. And unless the roof was on fire, I planned to honor the commitments I make to myself. The secret to having it all is realizing that you already do.success. Why not share it with the world?

author

lisa val verde

COO/CMO

Singapore

During her 10+ years marketing everything from concept to commercialization on a global landscape, Lisa has found that her greatest opportunity is to empower and encourage any woman with a burning passion and a desire for change to pursue whatever lights her spirit on fire. With Wildernest, Lisa is able to help other women break down their own walls to achieve their full potential, and enable a community of passionate women to create thriving businesses and become catalysts for change.

read lisa's full story